1. Your firm's big party is at a "mystery location". Where are you secretly hoping it'll be?
a) The local Pitcher and Piano - a glass of red and a chat about house prices, and you'll be done for the year.
b) A party boat on the Thames - a mix of lychee martinis, a lack of exits, a clutch of the City's finest professionals and some choppy water sounds like a recipe for the perfect evening.
c) Round the photocopier, with peanuts and cava.
d) In the shadow of a dinosaur at the Natural History Museum, which you'll be involved in festooning with balloons in the firm's colours.
2. Oh no! A week to go until the party and you've been asked to sit in on a conference call way past cocktail hour on the big night. What's your reaction?
a) You'll pop along to the party if you still have the energy afterwards.
b) You beg your boss to let you sneak out, even though you might have to come back to work later, which will be just fine, surely?
c) It's the perfect excuse to skip the whole event.
d) As you're spending the afternoon at the hairdressers and putting the final touches to the lavish event you've planned with military precision, you're unfortunately unavailable to clients that day.
3. The call is cancelled, and you arrive just as drinks are being served. You see someone very important from New York coming to talk to you, but you can't quite remember their name or who exactly they are. What do you do?
a) Dive behind a plant.
b) Down your champagne and hope for the best.
c) Time for a Blackberry check.
d) Flicking through your extensive mental Rolodex, you recall what you need just in time.
4. The call to dinner finally allows you to escape awkward small talk with the big cheese. As usual, the food on offer is scanty and perplexing, but the drink is flowing lavishly. What do you do?
a) Fill up on bread.
b) Decide you might as well claim back all that unpaid overtime in pinot noir.
c) Complain loudly about what's on your plate.
d) As you're on the organising committee, you've made sure that your table gets served first - with some special treats.
5. As coffee comes round, it's time for the commander-in-chief's big speech. How do you react?
a) Fake some laughter as they shoehorn in the standard (terrible) pun on your firm's name, which you've heard them do at this event for the past three years.
b) Begin the standing ovation (and hope nobody notices that you were really aiming for a Mexican wave).
d) Think smugly that your speech will be much better.
6. It's time to hit the dancefloor. It's the one time of the year when you and your hardworking City colleagues can truly "let go", but it's also when some terrible secrets are inevitably revealed. How do you handle things?
a) Hang in there for half an hour, and then sneak home.
b) You're dancing on the tables.
c) As the casualties mount up, you note you've got leverage if you ever need to call in some favours.
d) You're masterminding things from the DJ booth.
You'd better pluck up your ideas - right now you're missing the point entirely. Christmas parties in the City are a big deal - and taken just as seriously, so start checking out the seating plan and looking for a killer outfit now!
Nice try - you start off sparkly, but are in danger of looking a bit scruffy towards the end of proceedings. Get a bit of inner steel, remember it's a marathon not a sprint, and you'll be just fine.
Enough already with the "Bah! Humbug!" attitude! All those excessive profits have to be spent somehow, and how better than on industrial quantities of alcohol, slightly inept entertainers and dessert canapés. Get a grip!
Santa's Little Helper
You approach the Christmas party season with the same zest for perfection and sheer enthusiasm that you bring to your job during the rest of the year. The City is proud to call you its own.